My Struggle with My Faith

I have struggled with my faith all my life, but my mom, a devout Catholic, believed in God with all her heart. I watched Mom practice her faith and learned from her; yet I was never able to reach her level of faith and belief in Him. Mom always amazed me. She prayed and did her best to share her hope and faith to help me deal with the things we went through together while living in an abusive household.  I could always rely on my mom’s love and support, and she was always there to protect and defend me against others in the household.  I know many people who have lived with domestic violence or someone who has dealt with this, however, just know you are not alone. When Mom passed, I had to grow up rather quickly, even though I was already an adult.   Her faith and ability to forgive were the two things I wanted so much for myself, but I could never truly get there.  This did not happen for me until 25 years after her death.  Yes, 25 years of holding onto anger, pain, and hurt.  Sometimes we feel justified in holding on to the past because we must continue to defend the wrongs inflicted upon us.  God has been trying with me for so long, and I have finally found a place in my heart where I have renewed faith and forgiveness to move forward with God’s plan for me.

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